Sin
by Love Butterfly
Summary: How can something that feels so right be so wrong? Gabriella opens her heart to Sharpay and talks about her fears. GabriellaxSharpay Gabpay


Gabriella was laying down on her bed with Sharpay. Her head was resting on the blonde's chest and Sharpay played with her chocolate brown curls in a soothing manner. To Gabriella, it felt like heaven.

"Pay?" The brunette said, barely above a whisper.

"Hmm?" The blond lazily answered, never stopping her hands. Her eyes still closed.

"Nevermind." Gabriella said after a moment of thinking and snuggled closer to her.

"What is it Gabby?"

"It was nothing." She whispered and started tracing her fingers on the blonde's side.

But Sharpay knew her Gabriella too well to let it pass. She knew that when the brunette acted this way it was about something important and she was just too embarrassed to say it. She stopped playing with the other girl's hair and used her hand to slowly lift Gabriella's chin to look at her. She placed a feather light kiss on her lips and spoke in a loving voice.

"You know you can tell me anything. Please…"

When Gabriella didn't look away immediately she knew the girl was going to open up to her. She smiled at her and waited.

It was true. Everytime Gabriella looked into those beautiful brown pools she was hooked. There was no use denying, she couldn't resist the blonde.

"I…" She started, turning her head to face away from Sharpay. "Do you ever think about…God?"

"What about God?" Sharpay asked confused. Gabriella had never brought up this subject before.

"You know... About this and…" She trailed off.

"If what we're doing is wrong?" Sharpay finished off for her in a soothing voice. Gabriella's family was very religious so she knew how hard it must be for Gabriella to talk about it.

"Yeah…" Gabriella laid down on her chest again, resuming her tracing on Sharpay's ribcage. "Do you?"

"Sometimes." She paused for a moment. "Do you?"

"Yeah… I just don't get how…" She thought for a moment, trying to put it in words.

"How can something that feels so right be so wrong?" Sharpay once again finished it off for her. Gabriella just nodded. Another silence.

"So…?"

"So what?" Sharpay chuckled.

"What do you think about it?"

"I don't know, Gabby. What do you think about it?" Sharpay was trying to get Gabriella to speak. She figured this has been bothering the brunette for a while, so it was best to get it out of her chest.

"I don't… I don't know." She whispered.

"Okay." Sharpay thought maybe Gabriella wasn't really ready to talk about it. She decided against pushing her any further and just resumed playing with Gabriella's hair. There was the silence again. After some time Gabriella decided to break it.

"I haven't gone to church for a few weeks now."

Sharpay didn't know what to say. She herself hadn't been to church for quite a while. Her family wasn't like Gabriella's, they only went sporadically, but still. It's been a long time.

"I don't like lying to my mother and skipping Mass and I feel guilty about it, but I just can't… go."

Sharpay felt a warm teardrop on her chest. Gabriella was crying.

"Baby, come here." Sharpay hugged her closer and kissed her forehead. "It's okay."

"No, it's not! I can't go to church anymore because I'm ashamed to. And I don't like to feel this way. Not when it comes to you, Pay. I hate this! You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I wouldn't have this any other way, so why do I have to feel this way?" Gabriella babbled while tears fell freely down her face, tightening her grip around the blonde's waist. "I'm so sorry." She was sobbing now.

"Shh... It's okay Gabby." She tried to comfort the crying brunette as she kissed her head. "It's not your fault baby."

Sharpay wasn't sure how she should be feeling right now. She was sad to hear the brunette saying she was ashamed, but still she couldn't help but smile because Gabriella just said she was the best thing that ever happened to her. On the other hand, she was also the reason Gabriella was feeling this way. She didn't know what to say to make it better because deep down, she knew exactly how the brunette was feeling.

"I just feel so dirty and hypocritical going there." Gabriella continued after a few minutes. She had stopped sobbing, but tears were still falling.

"Is that why you stopped wearing your necklace?" Sharpay carefully asked.

"You noticed that?" Gabriella answered after a moment, surprised that the blonde had noticed. She had a gold scapular necklace she used to wear sometimes. It was a very small and delicate piece of jewelry. She didn't think anyone had noticed it.

Sharpay just nodded and smiled, blushing a bit. She didn't want to sound like a stalker or anything, but she paid careful attention to everything about the brunette.

"I told my mom I lost it, but it's in the back of my drawer." Gabriella said as fresh tears started to fall. "I feel like a hypocrite wearing it." When Sharpay didn't say anything she kept talking. "You must think it's stupid."

"Gabby, no. I-" Gabriella interrupted her mid-sentence.

"I'm so sorry. I'm a terrible person…" Tears still falling.

"Don't you ever say that again Gabriella." Sharpay said in a serious voice. Gabriella looked up to face her. When she knew she had the brunette's attention she went on, on a more loving tone. "You're the most amazing person I've ever met Gabby. You're a kind, strong and caring person. Here you are, bawling your heart out because you think you just hurt me to no ends by admitting that you stopped going to church because you're ashamed of what we're doing. Baby, you can't help how you feel."

She caressed Gabriella's cheek.

"And no, I don't think it's stupid. The truth is that I haven't been to church for a long time, and it's because of the same reasons. I can't stand walking inside and listening to the priest preach about God and the Bible when I know I'm doing something that is against the teachings and is seen as an abomination to His eyes."

Gabriella eyes widened at that. She didn't know Sharpay was even religious to begin with. Let alone be going through the same thing.

"I know there's this little voice in the back of my head telling me that this is a sin and if I don't repent I'm going to be punished. But I can't feel any regrets about this. About us."

"Pay…" Gabriella was staring at Sharpay. The blonde's eyes were wet with unshed tears.

"It kills me to know that. But how can this be such a sin if all I feel for you is love?"

Gabriella's heart skipped a beat at that.

"And I'm sorry but I can't answer if it's right or wrong because I don't know. All I know is that I need you with me. And as much as it hurts to say this, if this is the price then I'll pay it." Tears were now falling down her soft cheeks. "I love you, Gabby."

Gabriella wrapped her arms around the blonde's neck and kissed her. The kiss was a bit salty because of their tears mixed together, but it still tasted sweeter than ever to both girls.

"I love you too. More than anything." Gabriella whispered as they parted.

They laid like that for what seemed like forever, just listening to each other's breaths. After a moment, Gabriella broke the silence again. Her eyes still closed as she spoke.

"Pay?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think we'll ever be forgiven?" Gabriella asked with a still teary voice.

"I don't know, Gabby." Sharpay spoke softly as she held the brunette closer. "I don't know…"

The sun was setting outside the window, making the room glow with an orange and pinkish light. The girls held onto each other and slowly fell into a peaceful slumber.

.oOo.

It was Sunday morning._  
_

Gabriella was laying awake on her bed. The sunlight was coming thought the window and she could hear her mother making breakfast downstairs. She should be getting up, but she couldn't make herself do so. Gabriella just stared at the window with empty thoughts.

A knock on the door brought her back to reality. The door slowly opened and her mother walked in.

"Gabriella, aren't you ready for church yet? You haven't gone to Mass for weeks now!" Mrs. Montez put her hands on her hips as she scolded her daughter.

"I'm sorry mom, but I'm not feeling too good."

"Do you have a fever?" Her mother asked with worry as she sat down next to her on the bed and put her hand to Gabriella's forehead.

"No, I'm just not feeling well. My head hurts a little and my stomach feels funny."

"Okay, cariño." Her mother said tenderly as she kissed her forehead. "You just stay in bed today. I'll come home straight after church, okay? Do you need anything? Do you want me to bring you some breakfast? I made pancakes."

"No mom, thank you. I'll be fine."

"Okay. I'll see you soon then. Try to get some rest." She kissed her head and the got up to leave. As she was about to reach the door Gabriella spoke, stopping her.

"I promise I'll go next week." Gabriella said looking down. Mrs. Montez just smiled and closed the door behind her.

It was a lie.

Gabriella knew she would just come up with another excuse next week, and the week after. But in her mind, if God had already disowned her, what difference would another sin make?

A teardrop fell on her lap as the sound of church bells faded in the distance.

* * *

_  
Hello!_

_This was just a random idea I had today after church. I just got home and started writing. I tried to make it kinda angsty, but as you know I'm a sucker for fluff so I had to throw some in there too. lol_

_For those of you who don't know what a scapular necklace, it is a religious (duh!) jewel that symbolizes devotion and faith (hence why Gabriella felt like a hypocrite wearing it). Go to Google Images and search **Escapulario**. If you're too lazy here's a picture of one: www. brownsfashion. com/public/pictures/products/standard/883891. jpg _

_It's a long necklace with two pendants bearing religious images. One of the pendants goes on the front close to the heart, like a normal necklace, and the other you let it fall on your back. I have a silver one with crystals. So pretty. :) _

_Anyway, I hope the fic didn't suck. Please review!_

_Love,  
Nini_

**Disclaimer: I don't own High School Musical.**


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